Last night, as I was dropping my mom off at her house after seeing Eat, Pray, Love (great movie), I was yet again traumatized by wildlife. We got back to the house around 11:30 and were greeted by a giant deer eating the bushes in their front yard. We quickly ran inside and locked the door!
Why was this traumatizing?
Let's flash back to August 2007, my first attacking deer incident... It was the first day of school at my new school. I had previously been working closer to downtown Tampa where the biggest threat we had on campus was the random homeless guy who would cross the street in front of the parking lot. Now, here I was at my new school in the sticks. We had trees and swamp all around the campus, which was made up of about 15 portable temporary classrooms while they built our new building. To get to each classroom you walked down a long sidewalk flanked on either side with rows upon rows of portables. So, the first day of school I was walking down the sidewalk, bright eyed and bushy tailed, trotting to my classroom to prepare for the day. I was following another teacher and her three children when all of a sudden and big brown flash charged across the sidewalk nearly plowing down the youngest of her three. The next thing we heard was a violent THUD!! We looked over to see a deer-shaped dent in the side of one of the classrooms and a bloody broken deer laying dead below. As we looked on in shock the dead deer got up, ran up the ramp that lead to the front door of the classroom and attempted to hurtle the handrail. It's first two attempts resulted in it falling more and bleeding more on the ramp, walls and door. (I'll give you one guess as to whose classroom this happened to be happening to?!?!) Finally the enraged creature, with one antler now broken and hanging down, cleared the handrail and limped off to the back of the campus. By now the maintenance men were out on their golf cart chasing it through the back fence to get it off school property. As we looked at the aftermath of this event, the custodian got out the hose and sprayed the blood away, minutes before the buses pulled up and students started their day. Besides the giant dent in the wall the children had no knowledge of this event, however, it obviously stuck with me.
Flash now to New Year's Day (night) 2008, my friends and I had been out at the Orpin's house really really in the sticks. When it came time to leave I followed Katie (in her parent's car, in front) and Katie's sister (in Katie's car, in the middle) and me in my car, in the rear. We drove out of the Orpin's yard past the cows and horses and back onto the main road. As we drove, a kamikaze deer dove out from the pastures and attacked the middle car. I am not kidding, she did not hit it, it hit her! We all pulled over and again looked on in shock at the deer-shaped dent in the side of the car and the dead deer on the road. As we got out the flashlights, anyone growing up in Land O' Lakes knows to always have in their car, the dead deer rose and ran off into the darkness. The damage to Katie's car involved a new headlight and paint job. By the way, car insurance does not cover deer attacks!
So now let's return to last night's ordeal. After sneaking into the house and locking the door, I was fully aware that I would have to return to my car and drive back to my apartment. Like the brave little girl I am, I made my mom walk me out to my car. The damn deer was still out there. I yelled at it and it stared back at me...YIKES, bad idea! I shook my keys in the air to make noise and scare it away. Still it just looked at me with this "Yeah so, what are you going to do about it?" look on its face. I ran to my car and jumped in. I told the deer I was going to drive home now and if it got in my way there was nothing I could do about it! As I inched out of the driveway and down the street 3 of his friends were waiting for me. I crept past them and continued on the slowest and most alert drive home ever. I think our neighborhood needs to signs that not only show that deer may be present but that SUICIDAL DEER ARE READY TO ATTACK!
I know people say cats have 9 lives, I think the same is true for deer!
No comments:
Post a Comment